New to swinging? Relax, sit back and read these tips!
I bet every swinger couple reflects on their first time now and then. Often it’s the ice-breaker conversation that they engage in when meeting another couple on a date. Was it exciting? Was it nerve-racking? Whatever the first experience was like, it’s usually at the very least intriguing enough to try it again and again.
Still, for the absolute beginner, the idea of even meeting another couple socially is a little scary, let alone get naked with them and do what’s supposed to come naturally. Even for couples where one or both partners had some swinging or group sex experience in the past, you still can’t predict how things go.
Swinging for beginners should be a positive experience so to ensure nothing monumentally horrible goes wrong, here are some basic tips:
Is Swinging Really For You?
Firstly, make sure you are considering swinging for the right reasons. Sex with other people won’t solve fundamental problems in your relationship, nor miraculously make you love each other more. Don’t look at swinging as a means of spicing up a dull sex life (it should already be plenty spicy) or as a distraction from the issues that you can’t solve outside the bedroom.
There’s nothing wrong with one partner of a couple initiating a discussion to try swinging but the decision to go ahead needs to be completely mutual. Coercion of any type is a no-no, and all decisions about swinging should be made while sober and unaroused. You both should be on the same page about your swinging goals, be it for the short-term thrill or because you want a more open-minded lifestyle.
Don’t Forget to Communicate
Good communication is critical in any attempt at swinging as a couple. There are numerous different forms that swinging may take, and whatever path you take is fine as long as you and your partner are clear about what you are doing and why. Sex is potentially a highly emotional issue, and the pleasures that may be found in swinging can be reached only when both partners put their needs second to their partners. Furthermore, it might be valuable for you to think about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be uncomfortable in, and discuss these with your partner.
Bring Your Sense of Humour
Swinging should be fun. As long as you don’t mess people about, there is no need to take things too seriously. If your period starts early, you want to be with people who will laugh it off and make another date with you, not berate you for failing to schedule things perfectly. It’s often hard to line up dates and get the logistics right so it’s best to view swinging as a fun recreational pursuit than a commitment to other people.
Go At Your Own Pace
No one gets a medal for shagging the most couples in their first month of swinging. Many first-timers get caught up in the excitement of the swinging scene that they line up dates for every spare moment they have. There’s certainly nothing wrong with sowing your swinging seeds but it’s also perfectly fine to focus on one or two couples, especially if making a social connection is important to you. Some people get off on the thrill of having sex with strangers, whereas other couples will only enjoy sex when you click on a mental or even emotional level. It’s all good!
Know some couples thinking about swinging? Please feel free to share this article with them 🙂 X